Our fabulous and overzealous hares seem to have overestimated the motor skills of the not-so-average halfmind and will be leading us on a bicycle-based trail. Find yourself a somewhat bicycle-shaped mode of conveyance, bring your usual attire and gear (and virgins), and get your ass to the hash. Should be weird. Someone might end up in the hospital. They have the good drugs there.
$10 for Food, Drinks, & Trail for Food, Drinks, & Trail
What you get
$10 gets you a Bastard vessel, trail beer, pizza at the on after (Cliff Room) and the opportunity to hang with your favorite half-minds."
Additional Info
Attention all wanks and diddlers! H3SoB is being invaded by an insidious group of Bastards! The following statement has been issued bya representative of these would-be subjugators: "The Bastards are celebrating 10 years of drunkenly r*nning/walking/stumbling/crawling through the streets and shiggy of Santa Barbara. Cum celebrate their milestone analversary with a special Saturday trail.
On After
1:30 p.m. show 2:00 p.m. hare off 2:15 p.m. pack out On After: Pizza & Drinks @ Cliff Room
virgin, vessel, and tutu. Leave that thing called dignity at home
What you get
Food, Drinks, & Trail
Additional Info
t's that time of year to celebrate our local SOB kennel! This happens anally, so this is the one time this year we get to celebrate all that these shit-fingers do for us. So ... let's party!!!! The hares have a delicious trail in the works, as well as a BBQ On-After with keg(s?) on the beach.
Bring floaties, gator repellent, signal device, what's left of your liver after celebrating CumSession's Bday.
What you get
There shall be: prelube, sand in all the wrong places, moisture, shiggy, ocean, scampering, beer, unreasonably long songs, etc.
Additional Info
2 mile all-paved Turkey Walk with one beer check ... Eagle trail around 6.9 miles with 2 beer checks and a "bag of mystery" (spoiler alert : it's booze)
Cum one, cum all!
It's time again to appease the Gods of libation with, who else, but your favorite ball licking hounds!
It's the last day of the month as well as Bartender Appreciation Day - so honestly, is there any better way to spend your Saturday afternoon? You can thus appreciate yourself after trail, or join in at the on-after party somewhere downtown 😘
Bring a vessel, a virgin, your best necktie, & fanciest pair o boxer shorts, id ( unless you have a silver/platinum mane like ours!), & $$ if you don't like beer.
Additional Info
Cum on out for a little fun in the sun in Noleta! There will be shiggy, really flat trail, doggie friendly, but not so for strollers
Oscar Week Bastard Hash
When
Tuesday, Feb 27 at 6:15 PM
Where
Parking lot behind Home Depot in Goleta Marketplace (6975 Marketplace Dr, Isla Vista, California 93117)
Hares
Jizzzzzzzzzzzzz
Cost
$6
Additional Info
The lovely, laughter-filled Jizzzzz will lead you bastards on a trail filled with golden awards at each BN. No acceptance speech required to receive.
vessel, virgin, a piece of string, and hat of your choosing to hash in
Additional Info
First H3SOB hash of 2018! Let's pop that 2018 Saturday hash cherry! This hare has nothing but the shittiest trail in store for you. Show up to start with your silliest mad hat or any fun little hat to put on your head (head? Who said head?)
